Sunday, March 22, 2009

The Anxiety Before A Talk, and the Reality (A Tale of Useless Worry)

So tonight was volleyball night. I like to play sports, and I play all out. It is one of the places where I am not "nice", where I am a warrior and competitive and even combative at times. At least with the other teams.

I am also captain of my team, and the general manager, as such. And tonight I had to let one of the guys go (it's the end of a season, with another one beginning soon). The rest of the team wanted him gone, I was in agreement, but UGH, did I have to be the one to do it? My Nice Guy-ness reared its ugly head.

I fretted and tried not to think about it as we played the last games. Then I sucked it up and told him we needed to talk. And guess what? He was unhappy and wanted to leave. It was a quick and easy conversation.

How many times have I (and other NG's I have worked with) known a similar situation? From the romantic relationship where both sides are actually unhappy, to the work-place issue that's the same.

Nice Guys often forget, other people *do* feel unhappy, and want change too. So, save yourself the worry. Just get the conversation started.

Best, Peter

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